Today I am not an Ironman, but I’m not giving up

Well to say that this weekend was an emotional journey doesn’t even begin to touch my feelings on things.

Not reaching my Ironman dreams was soul-crushing to say the least.

My morning started off kind of hectic, losing my phone in the dark at the drop bags. Thankfully a volunteer found it and returned it to Twila who had been texting me.

My swim was great. It was the best I’ve felt in the water ever. The water was a tad choppy due to the wind and the moving boats/jet skis added some swells. But I focused hard on my swim and breathing and finished feeling great.

Ran into the changing tent to my bike bag and quickly changed. Only to realize that my nutrition/hydration was in that bag. The problem with that is it was the nutrition/hydration that I needed for the second 56 mile loop. I asked the volunteer if there was anyway that someone could get it to Special Needs, where you would swap it out, but she said no, that they had been delivered hours ago. I knew then that my day was about to take a horrible nose dive.

I ran out and on to my bike. Loop one (the first 56 miles) went great. I felt strong, my nutrition was on point. I finished a touch faster than my plan.

Went into to special needs, where my nutrition for the next 56 miles should have been. I secretly had held out hope that someone had gotten it there. Nope. I didn’t freak out. Just tried to figure out how water and Gatorade (which doesn’t sit well for me), could limp me along to the run start, where I would have my running nutrition available.

The second loop started out fine, until about mile 75… Then things started to unwind. I was not holding up well. Between the heat, my lack of nutrition and the Gatorade and the wind, I was losing time fast. I could feel my body fading. At mile 105, I was pulled from the course.

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I spent the evening pouting. Thinking and rethinking what my race would have been had it gone better.

My husband, who has been an amazing support through all of this training/racing began research races that are coming up. I have the base already, so what’s another 5 weeks on intense training? If anything, I’ll be going at it with a whole new level of drive.

So there you have it. Maryland 140.6 will be my Ironman.

11 thoughts on “Today I am not an Ironman, but I’m not giving up

  1. Love your approach. I’m thieving here; but the true measure of someone is not in success. Anyone can throw in a bit of effort and succeed. But to persist, to face difficulty and overcome, to look inside yourself and keep going when others would falter – that is the difference, that is winning. Take heart in what went well – yours is not a failure of preparation. You smashed the swim and you had the bike in control – you know you can do this. It was logistics; a minor tweak and you’re back where you were – ready to conquer and finish that Ironman.

    You have the heart. You’ve done the training. You want it. You’ve got this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have such a great attitude that will help you achieve your goal in Maryland! As mentioned previsously, you now have the fine tuning to get have that awesome race! You have the base, you have the drive, you’ll get your goals! Cheering for you all the way!

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  3. I really like and concur with the comments you and racing mermaid have gotten about character building benefits of journey! So glad you have option to get right back at it.

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  4. The wind out there was rough on that second lap! I’m sorry your day didn’t end as expected (and hoped), but I think it’s great that you are using the base you’ve built and signing up for another Ironman.

    Good luck in Maryland!

    Like

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