If we were strangers and you met me and there was any chance that we would become the best of friends, there are a few things about me you should know before we even start down the friendship path.
1. I cannot stand whistling. More than I can even express. The noise makes me so crazy. If we meet, and you are walking along whistling blissfully, we are done, friendship terminated.
2. I like cheap wine. I like expensive wine too. But honestly I’ll happily drink a glass of boxed Sangria and probably enjoy it more than an expensive bottle I’ve picked up at a winery. I’m not fancy.
3. I hate cats. Like really detest them. If there is a hell, I swear it will be lined with these evil, furry little devils.
4. I’m a horrible, awful driver. Right now, you are thinking, oh yeah, you are too. No, trust me. Wear your seatbelt.
5. I’m super OCD. I know this is an issue of mine. But I don’t care. Get over it. I make lists, schedules, I plan details, I make spreadsheets, meal plan, keep notes… Seriously, don’t fold my towels, you’ll do it wrong. There is only one right way to hang toilet paper, no other way makes sense. Why don’t people think before they load a dishwasher, it’s like a puzzle. And for the love of God, do not write on my to do lists or my calendar, just walk away.
6. I swear. Like all the time. Like F-Bomb. C-word. I admit I’m a cusser. I’d like to think I’ll work on this some day, but I’m sure I won’t. I won’t cuss at you. I don’t swear when I’m angry. I just cuss. Too much. But it’s not something I’m working on being better about.
7. I’m a super arguer. My parents used to tell me, you’ll be a lawyer, I’m not. So instead I’m just a super arguer.
8. If we met, and do something crappy and I’m wrong, there is a 99.9% chance I won’t admit it or say I’m sorry. I know this is a huge flaw. I’d like to say it has improved over time but honestly, it hasn’t. See #7…
9. I can eat more food than you’d think was even humanly possible. I can put away some serious groceries. And if I workout and I don’t get to eat, like right away, I will get soooooo Hu-Angry. Watch out.
10. I love coffee. If I hate you when we meet, and you buy me coffee, I’ll forgive you. I love coffee that much.
11. I don’t like to wear pants. If there is a way I can wear leggings, running capris/tights, or yoga pants ANYWHERE, I will try. I don’t wear my PJs or sweats to Walmart, but I’d happily sport yoga pants to pretty much anywhere.
12. I shop, almost exclusively, online. If they sell it on Amazon or Zulily, done deal. I just hate having to go into a store. The last two Christmas’ in a row, I bought almost no gifts in a store, which goes back to #2 and #11, I can wear yoga pants and drink cheap wine and shop online.
13. I can fall asleep, soundly, just about anywhere. Snoring, loud kids, the TV, lights, whatever, I can fall asleep and stay asleep until morning. And I typically only need 6-7 hours of sleep each night. Since started IM 70.3 training, I have needed a little more.
14. I sing in the car. Super loud. And I love doing this. Even when other people are in the car.
15. I kiss my dog. On the mouth. Not like with my tounge or pervy. But I love her. And I kiss her mouth. And I love it when she licks all over my face.